Conservative Cabal

If Bush is a “lame duck” president at the end of his term, what will we get to call Obama at the end of his term? An asthmatic squirrel? A deaf pigeon? An arthritic butterfly?  

We need to decide on this right away, so we can continue the Kumbaya-singing and hand-holding that the libs keep whining about wanting. I’ll be happy to hold hands with an arthritic butterfly any day.

Well, it’s over. Thank God. It had to end one way or another, but it’s over. At last, local channels can finally reclaim their airwaves and run more Luna Carpet commercials instead of those awful political ads. I can’t say I’m happy about it. Pretty darned upset, actually, but now the Dems and libs finally have what they wished for. And we all know how that saying goes. “Be careful what you wish for…” Indeed.

I am still scared about an Obama presidency. Lots will happen, not much of it good. We as a country are certainly in more danger than ever before. With great dread I predict at least one terrorist attack on our soil before 2012. Since I can’t do much else to change our foreign policy, let’s all say a prayer for Israel, who needs more luck than we do at the moment. It may not be around much longer. I fear greatly for my savings and my 401K, now in the clear sights of the Democratic Congress. I fear for the vitality of my business and the financial future of my family. I fear for the personal safety of my home and loved ones.

But, on the upside, now we get to watch the Dems run the country and self-destruct when their Obama-god turns out to be a human after all, and not a great one at that. I for one will be first in line to say “told you so” when the economy continues to tank, gas goes back up, and the financial industry smolders. Somehow, we must control the damage as much as possible by getting some backbone into the GOP left in Congress. How? No idea. I leave that up to smarter, wiser men than I. In the meantime, I seek to take extreme perverse pleasure in watching the liberals drive the Democratic party into the ground. Good luck guys! And have fun! See you in 2012!

Well, it’s about darned time I introduced myself to our little group, and go busy with some blogging! If I don’t, I think Katy’s going to kick me off out of the cabal, and then what do I have to do at night?? So here goes:

1) female
2) conservative
3) meeting planner and contract negotiator
4) somewhere in Illinois
5) married
6) dry, sarcastic humor
7) no, I am not a natural blonde
8) anything but Mexican food

Well, that pretty well covers the basics. And now, onto the post that’s been building inside of me for weeks, and weeks….

Given all the recent conniption fits the MSM has these days (and talk radio too, for that matter) about every word uttered by the candidates at this late election-hour, it’s no wonder the rest of the country doesn’t just plug their ears and start humming loudly to drown out the lunacy. (Cue “Gunsmoke” theme music…) I know that I personally am recently prone to making snide comments at articles on my computer, and occasionally arguing with the radio when a pundit inevitably says something amazingly stupid. It’s just getting too much, so let’s let off a little steam. You know you want to do it - say all those things here that you can’t say to your idiot co-workers or your annoying liberal friends. So c’mon, let it all out! I’ll go first:

• (traditional) Economics 101: wealth, unlike matter, can be created AND destroyed. It’s not a zero-sum game. There isn’t a magical dollar amount at which point the world’s wealth will cease to increase. Wealth can always be created and multiplied.
• Given this fact, “redistribution” is sort of like stealing, ya know? It’s not my fault I’ve got more money than you. Maybe you should get off your butt and work for yours just like I work for mine. I own my own business, pal, and I work hard to earn every penny, and frankly, I’ll be damned if some snot-nosed, pointy-headed liberal cue-card-reader is going to stand up there and tell me that I’m too rich. Tell you what, Barry, you want to redistribute the wealth, start with your own pocketbook and then I’ll consider it. Until then, get your girly manicured nails away from my wallet. That’s just creepy.
• The average person in the world is not rich. In fact, outside of the US, most poor people are really, truly freakin’ poor. (To the liberals - that means, like, totally no MTV or CNN, like not even a TV or a real house. OMG!!) So let’s think about this… if everyone “redistributes” their money so that we’re all even, but the majority of the world is poor, that means that everyone’s wealth actually goes DOWN - the rich will be less rich and the poor won’t be much richer. Now THAT’S a fabulous economic plan, Barry! Give yourself a gold star for that one!
• Don’t mess with my 401K. Just don’t do it.
• Obama+terrorists=the best references to get a teaching job in Chicago. I don’t know why liberals go berserk when they hear this referenced. It’s the truth, and aren’t they always screaming something about finding “the truth”s? It’s like looking for a piece of hay in a haystack….
• I am eternally frustrated that every devout socialist I meet can’t ever really explain to me how socialism works. My eternal thanks to the fabulous public school system for this one.
• I am also eternally frustrated that every devout liberal I meet tends to spout party lines faster than Joe Biden can get hairplugs, but can’t ever explain their points without using the words “Hilter”, “racism”, “fair”, and “change”. Again, my thanks to the public school system for the in-depth education of logical reasoning.
• I like Israel. I like the Israeli people. Of the ones I’ve met, none of them have ever threatened to kill me or wipe my religion or country off the map. I that’s a great cultural element of their society. Promote multiculturalism!
• I’d like to burn effigies of Obama and chat lewd, vulgar comments about Joe Biden at rallies. Can someone please give me a schedule for the conservative rallies that will be featuring these activities?
• Disagreeing with you isn’t racist. I suggest you go back to kindergarten (preferably not a public school kindergarten) and learn to deal with conflict appropriately. Name-calling only wins you an argument if you can back it up by stealing my chocolate milk at lunch time and pushing me off the swings. Go ahead, try it. I dare you.
• Sadly, no, celebrities STILL haven’t said anything useful or coherent recently. Not only do the movies suck these days, but they’re not even giving me any worthy blogging material. Where is Tom Cruise and the Mothership when you need them???

Ok, now, your turn! :)