Conservative Cabal

This is the scary-smart diplomacy we were promised?   First, there was the ridiculous, tit-for-tat letter attempt from Obama to Medvedeev.  If only you’ll stop helping the Iranians with their ballistic missile program (not their nuclear power development as has been wrongly reported in some quarters), we’ll ditch our missile defense system.  Said system which I and my Democratic allies have been railing against since the Reagan administration.

There were two things wrong with this silly letter (well two besides it being leaked and summarily rejected).  Diplomacy is not Chicago-back-room-pork-trading.  Russia’s not in it to divvy up the spoils of a captive set of tax-payers.  Russia is in it for Russia, so even if you were to offer them something, they are not going to want to give you anything in return.  That’s why diplomacy is so hard, even if you’re really smart and not just a poser with a teleprompter.  Diplomacy isn’t you and Rezko and Daley in a back room deciding how to slice up a pig, it’s Russia with a large club, trying to get all the pigs into his poke and not give you any.  So you better pick up your club, smart guy.

And here’s a little tip.  When offering the Russian bear a deal, you might not start with this line, “You give me what I want and I’ll give you what I want.”  It might work on the South-Side rubes the Democratic party has been taking advantage of for years, but it isn’t going to work on the world stage.  You can’t let the whole world know you want to scrap missile defense (EVEN THOUGH IT WORKS!), and then use it as a bargaining chip.  Oh, and the Poles, Czechs and Ukranians all say thanks for selling them back into Iron Curtain Slavery.

But hey, that was only stage one in the three stage, scary-smart diplomacy of the Obama Administration.  Read on, McDuff…

Stage two involves the White House Office of Protocol, assuming there still is such a thing and the importance of gift-giving in diplomacy.  When your closest ally in all the world (and the English are still that if nothing else), shows up for his first State visit, gifts will be exchanged, something thoughtful would be best.  So, what does Gordon Brown show up with (remembering that Gordon isn’t exactly the sharpest shovel in the shed either)?  A lovely pen set carved from the timbers of a British anti-slave ship, the commission for said ship, and a multi-volume, signed first edition of a Churchill biography.  The British ship, The Gannet, was the sister ship of the HMS Resolute from which the Presidential desk is carved.

Those are thoughtful gifts.

Obama returned the favor with a DVD boxed set.  25 American classics.  woot.  Now for sale on Amazon for 50 bucks, if you’re lucky.  And never mind the fact that American DVDs can’t play on British DVD players, thanks to those darn region codes, but seriously, DVDs?  DVDs you give your brother-in-law’s sister because you don’t know her that well and have no idea what she likes and hell, who doesn’t like Casablanca?  You do not give the Prime Minister of Great Britain DVDs, Jack-Ass.

Now, I’m sure there’s a White House Office of Protocol that should be responsible for making sure these things don’t happen.  But in the event, I’m also betting that Obama fired everyone so he could bring in his own set of cronies in the same way the Clinton White House did so famously away back in ‘92.

And, just to sauce this a bit, can you imagine the uproar that would have ensued if anyone associated with Bush has made such a gaff?  The whole NYTimes editorial pages would be swimming in a sea of metaphors for declassé, might I suggest the Russian, nekulturny?

And speaking of Russia, this tale of horror continues…

Hillary!  decided to be cute in her first meeting with the Russian Foreign Minister, let’s the let the BBC tell it…

Hillary Clinton gave Sergei Lavrov a mock “reset” button, symbolising US hopes to mend frayed ties with Moscow.

But he said the word the Americans chose, “peregruzka”, meant “overloaded” or “overcharged”, rather than “reset”.

Nicely done, retards.  This little gesture, giving the Russians a gag button, came from an American television commercial (”The Easy Button” anyone?), and from the Obama Administrations attempt to lay off Russian bad behavior on the Bush Administration.  That apparently was the Obama administration plan; let’s do whatever we want for the first six months and blame everything on Bush.  Obama wants to “reset” the American relationship with Russia because Bush was too confrontational.  Bush was too confrontational, with Russia?  Anyone remember a certain President looking into Vlad Putin’s eyes and seeing his soul?  Anyone remember the great guffaws let out by the Washington press corps because Bush was such a rube for thinking he could work with such big tough meanies as Russia?

But now, Bush was too tough and all we need is an Easy Button.  And hey, I guess we fired all the Russian speakers in the State Department because there was no one on Hillary’s jet that could say, “hey, ditch the button, it doesn’t say what you think it says.”?  And, as HotAir points out, you really want to give the Russians The Button?

So, to sum up, Obama’s administration has insulted our oldest and dearest ally and made themselves look like complete morons in front of the Russians, twice.  Scary smart.  I look forward to John Stewart’s assault on these gaffs with bated breath…